Our Last Day at Lock Vista

As I've written before, place is very important in my life. And today is the last day in *this* place. We've been slowly moving the whole week (it's much easier for me to move slowly) and I've been saying goodbye with each load brought to the new place.
I won't miss much physically. The apartment is cute, for sure, but the experiences are far more memorable. I've changed SO much in that apartment. I remember leaving a friend's car one night in a heap of tears because I thought I was going to be single for the rest of my life.
I remember the day I changed my apartment around, bought a new couch and met new people 24 hours later. I remember when Dave spent two months sleeping on a bed in the living room and we watched Fear Factor, drank gatorade, and compared our parking trials. I stopped talking to a few friends at one point. I quit my final school. I graduated from college. I got a real job with a paycheck! I lived in Scotland. I got engaged. I got married. I got a better real job. All in 4 years.
Place provides a good container for life, an easy way to mark change. It holds imagery and memory well. I am excited to live somewhere new and see what experiences that place will hold.
When I moved into Lock Vista, all I knew was that I wanted a place that would let me grow. And grow I did. In this new place in Greenwood I'm setting an intention to develop my writing life. With a whole room dedicated to quiet, clear communication, and spiritual connection, I intend to have a writing routine, publish, and commit to using writing as a healing tool.
I went through some boxes from my high school days and got rid of a lot of crap that I'd been hanging on to for no real reason. Clearing the clutter out, simplifying my files, and creating a sacred space will really help me out.
My writing life has been a long one, but not necessarily an intentional one. I've taken MANY classes and yet once I write something I almost never look at it again. Not that I need to look at everything, but maybe some revisions or at least some organization would help. I look forward to being able to catalog some history. I plan to create a chronological anthology of my best work through the years. It's interesting stuff for sure.
The studio in Fremont will stay as a work space and not as a writing studio...I'll be able to keep writing at home, where I feel inspired and safe and the studio can be covered in crap, paint, and other things and I won't have to worry about writing in a messy place ( I can't seem to write in mess).
Another thing about place has to do with taking space energetically. While I am still very much in favor of not having a room for each activity in a house, I do recognize that consecrating spaces for specific things allows the energy of that thing (let's use writing as an example) to stay there and grow, collect, etc. Of course I'm not looking for a personal library with engraved pens (although, not a bad idea) and parchment paper but, if my writing could be personified for a moment, it might be nice to know that writing is done in a special place at a special time and it can come to that place to settle and get creative. I like that idea. My writing does not have to put on hold or set aside for "free time," which I rarely have. It can go to the writing room, and wait patiently til I set my tea down and begin. I can create a playlist for inspiring music, have a nice chair to read in, and hang pieces up that I am proud of. This all seems glaringly obvious to me NOW but I have to admit that I didn't really give my writing this kind of attention before. Which is why I don't do it too much. All things creative are not equal in my life. I love to play with textiles and paint furniture, but I've been treating writing as a similar hobby and it's not. I have an amazing job that lets me work only in the afternoon and I really want to use my mornings to write (and submit!).
Another exciting part of this new place that we're living in is that it's big enough to entertain people. We've crammed groups into the small apt, but this time we can have a place where more than 3 people can sit comfortably, and we don't have to share the space with a table, an office, a hallway and all of our worldly possesions. Very exciting. Our kitchen is also big enough to cook in, versus throw together meals. Now I can be in there WITH Josh and that's great because we do well as a team, especially if we have room to work. I used to cook a lot more when I lived with roommates but the kitchen at Lock Vista was just not big enough. Only one or two shelves for food, barely enough room for all the baking/cooking equipment, and then almost no counter space (we had a dishrack because there was no dishwasher and that takes up half the space!). So things will be a bit different now. Cooking and hosting are a big part of making our home a home and I can't wait to set the place up.

I've put my Reiki practice on hold as well for various reasons. When it just wasn't feeling right I took the shingle down and went on to other things (constant employment). Since I've stopped I've only seen one or two people and I've been missing more energetic work. I'm not sure where it will fit, but I am welcoming energy work back into my life because although I wasn't the best at marketing, I did really enjoy it. Our downstairs is big enough that I can create a nice practice space (or at least a transformable space) so that I can go back to see friends and family. I'm even going to buy my own table!

So I have high hopes for this house. I have good relationships with the places I live (a few hiccups in the past not included) and I think this will be a great experience. I'm going to start a new blog (Blue House Blog) so I can document our changes, improvements, and anything house related. I also plan to strengthen my relationship with this house through my writing. Stranger things have happened.

That's all for now. I'm going to set up the new blog. I'm excited.

On Our Way

In a very short amount of time (thanks guides!) we found our new place to live. We're signing the lease today and will start to move in shortly afterward. We've already set up to have our phone and computer switched (a few days lag time will be okay), we're in the process of packing (it's a bit chaotic, but fortunately we'll have time to move instead of all in one day. I like that kind of moving. Losing money for living in two places at once is fine by me. The stress can be overwhelming when it's one day of moving.
So we've printed up our termination agreement and we will officially be out by Oct 22nd. I'll spend the following week cleaning and be done with Lock Vista by Oct 26th. Wahoo! Anyway, it feels good to be leaving finally. Our new place is much bigger, has a W/D (I am surprised about how much this swayed my decision), has a loud bright color (aqua, we're told), carport parking (inlcuded!), a nice patio, a basement for our rec room, and an open kitchen. It's great fun. It'll be nice to have space and get to know a new area. We're still on three bus lines, I can still get to work within an hour, and we're closer so a few friends (sorry, we're farther from a few now too).

I'm happy it's gone so flawlessly. That's what happens when my second chakra is open. Wedding, job, new house, seemlessly flowing. I know I should feel overwhelmed, and I am a bit, but mostly, it feels good to have some positive flow. I feel ready for good things to happen. In the new place we get to have an office and it will be pristine and clutter free and NOT in our living room.
There is also the possibility that I go back to doing Reiki with friends and family on the side (the rec room will double as practice space) and that's good for me too. I realize that even though I don't want a full blown practice at this point, I really like practicing Reiki and I really want to develop my skills as a healing practitioner. I know there is a lot more to learn and I am still really interested in that.

My job is still a lot of fun (after 6 days!) and even the little dramatic moments are entertaining. I don't take things too seriously, as only so much is in my power. Thank goodness. My co-workers are great and it's really nice to coast in at 1pm, work for four hours and then leave at 5pm. I also don't sit around too much either, which feels good. Busy, busy. It's just challenging enough to be learning new things each day.

So it's all in motion and luckily, it's not moving too fast for me. That's what I like, a flow I can keep up with. It must be right! We're excited to be able to entertain people and host them. We'll have a bed for guests and a space to eat AND sit and talk. It's an open layout but there's enough room for everything. Plus, having our tv downstairs REALLY excites me. We'll get to make that place a real den and make it nice and cozy. It's also big enough for people to BE in, versus just a place where chairs can be set up. It'll be really great. I can't wait. Our shit is all over the apartment now, but we'll move it a bunch at a time and then we'll do a big move on the 21st. YAY!
Anyway, I just wanted to share that because I am very excited to move. I've been in this apt for 4 years now and it's time to live in a new place!

The Place I Grew Up In

When I think of growing up in certain places, it's mostly a childhood thing. I remember birthdays, adolescence, the movement from a shared room to a room just for me and then to a room upstairs, away from my parents. But even though my childhood is long gone, I still notice that I am growing up in places I live.
We're about to move away from our apartment in Ballard. I've lived here since August 2002 and it has been as eventful as some of my teenage years.
I had an intention when I moved: I wanted a place that would let me grow and change and help me to expand myself. I had no idea what that would entail, but four years later I can say that I have done just that.
I moved in as a student in art school. I finally had a place that didn't sap the creative energy away from me when I got there. It had wood floors, nice light, a big enough kitchen, and a bedroom that only needed to house a bed. The bathroom was classic and small enough to clean with ease. My neighbors (most of which are still here) provided ample entertainment between their march to the garbage, occasional angry outbursts, and odd conversations around the building.
I live walking distance from the heart of Ballard where food, shopping, and nightlife are only increasing. I've watched as delapidated buildings get extreme makeovers and become hot night spots. I've seen what seemed to be the essence of the old gritty Ballard be knocked down to make way for expensive condos and new lifestyles.
None of it goes unnoticed. I observe the changes outside and feel similar ones inside.
This apartment has seen me in my most single, introverted time and encouraged me to break out and allow more people into my life, one of them being my husband Josh. I switched schools one last time (without having to move) and finally graduated with a BA degree. I found myself in these 575 sq ft. I realized that love was less romantic and idealistic and more everyday and routine and I preferred it that way. I even learned that it can be both.
When I lived alone the first time, I wanted to stay alone. I never answered the phone, I ate too simply (no one could comment on it because I didn't invite them over), I spent hours a day walking, I had minimal work.
But in this sacred place, I became the person I love. With painted furniture and art on the walls, I could come home and see myself and feel comforted by that. If I had a bad day, I walked over the threshold of B106 and it all went away.
I invited people to my apartment without shame. I was proud of my place. With help I turned a single person's pad into a home. With a new couch and a few chairs to sit at the table, I could entertain. Welcoming new energy into my home was the beginning of a new life. I had a few dates come over, but when Josh spent the night the first time, I felt that something was shifting again. I realized that I would share this home with someone more permanently.
I had a few guests before that. My brother David had a bed behind the couch. While certainly not that private, it was nice to share my space with him. When I left to go to Scotland, I was sad to leave my roommate. But shortly after I got back and Josh and I realized we were in it for the long haul, this crucible for growth welcomed both of us in. Our huge lives were joining in this small apartment. We had an office in the living room and a tv in the dining room and our workspace was in the middle of it all. No place to run, no place to hide. We could go into the bedroom but eventually we had to share it again. The bathroom was no place for a conference and yet there were times when we both had to brush our teeth. The kitchen became a hazardous work environment for two so only one worked in there at a time.
I lost some of myself when it was the two of us. I stopped cooking as much (to be fair, I was on the decline anyway). I slept more because it was just me in my dreams. I went back to seeking alone time. It's not about my relationship, but more about the space.
We've outgrown this hardwood floor, tile bathroom, double paned windowed respite from the world. Josh and I are looking to expand our lives, our family, our own space. I have learned what is important to me. I know that artistic living cannot be avoided but if I can't have more than three people over, I will be sad. I can feel that material energy feels less inspiring than human energy. I am in no rush to go out and buy more things to fill a bigger house, unless it can help me be a better host and homemaker. I love being a homemaker. I love the feeling of sleeping on clean sheets, eating a meal cooked with love, bathing in a sparkling clean bathroom. I can't wait to host sleepovers and game nights and five-course meals.
This apartment has given me strength to ask the universe for what I want and then stand confidently and graciously while I receive it. It has given me the gift of interaction, normally a fear that kept me from moving out of myself and into the lives of others. It has shown me my weaknesses and never abadoned me while I built them into strengths. It has constantly asked me for the truth of myself, especially when I tried to hide it from others.
These walls DO talk. They tell me everyday that my visions and dreams can become real. They whisper, "Go ahead and try it," when I am skeptical. They console me when I am beside myself with immobility and fear. These are more than walls, they are my womb when I need nourishment and protection. They are my blank canvas when I feel inspired and creative. They are my boundaries when I have forgotten my own. They are my friends when I'm having a party.
I am sad to leave this place. It is necessary of course, but I am careful not to forsake the power of this home in my life. Even if it's got the same floorplan of several other units and when I leave it will be stripped of my personal touches and unique additions. I adore this apartment and all its flavor. The metal cabinets, tiny closets, bland paint color which I never painted over. I am excited for the next home but will always have a special place in my heart for B106.

The Smell of Fall

I know it's Fall when the air starts to fill with wood fires, apple cider, and the leaves become fractals of color as they bid farewell to the summer.

It's dark out again. I wonder if that's just a good time for me to write. I just love the mornings before the world has had its coffee. I'm excited to get back to writing in the morning. I have missed it since the wedding prep got so intense. For a while there I simply needed sleep and lack of stimulation just to balance out all the extroverted behavior. I just realized that I am a cusp-er in many things: astrology, Meyer's Briggs, Ayurveda. It's just that I like both sides. In the Fall I love to begin the process of hunkering down, getting quieter, preparing for the cold months and in the Summer I love to wake up early, wear bright clothes, eat lots of fruit. I like them equally. They each have benefits.

We're preparing to move this month, which is already upon us. We need to expand a little and embrace married life. Everyone asks do I feel different now that I am married. Yes. Most certainly. I feel more mature. I feel as though now not only will I be taken seriously, but I can take myself more seriously. Often, this is not something I need, because I take myself plenty seriously, but I mean it differently. I feel now that I have become more powerful, that I stand out more, that what I do matters more. For instance, I can look at clothes in my closet and say, "I can't wear that anymore. I don't FEEL married in it." I know it may sound strange, but I feel a much stronger sense of pride in my relationship, in myself and in my husband. We are a team and we can change the world. I've always wanted that. I've thought long and hard about what I gain from being married, and besides the obvious, I really feel it presents this change in power. Like our rings are inscribed: From their united being, a single brighter light goes forth. I *feel* that now. It's pretty sweet.
And because the light is SO bright now, we have to move out of our small, 1 bedroom apartment. We need just a bit more space. Plus, we need to create a more sacred intention about buying land and building our fab pre-fab. Our house is constantly messy now, no amount of storage units can hold what we need/want. I want to invite people over again, I want to have guests spend the night, I want to drag my compost outside, rather than to a friend's house. :S

So we're hunting for a place to move into before November 1st so we don't have to rush at the last minute. We both HATE to move. So that's a big deal and a big change, but a necessary one. Lots of things are in motion now.

I went to my first official day of work yesterday. I took notes about things I didn't understand, I said hello to my co-workers...it's all very exciting. Oddly enough, I have done probably more legal work than anything (SBUX) so although I would NEVER have thought I'd end up here, I guess it's not THAT weird considering how much I've enjoyed working with the legal stuff. It's interesting. Not that the boring stuff is interesting, but I guess I find the subject matter to be interesting and it feels good to to be proud of where I work.
I get an office and an extension and ergonomic furniture. Sweet! And I get paid!

But most of all, I have time to write and create, which is what I want. I want to be able to get into a routine so that I don't just fart away my morning before I head out to work. Technically, I work full time but I need to actually put in those hours in the morning with writing. Josh said he'll push me to write even though I also want to make some clothes. Just for side cash. Anyway, I should go and work on something now.