The Smell of Fall

I know it's Fall when the air starts to fill with wood fires, apple cider, and the leaves become fractals of color as they bid farewell to the summer.

It's dark out again. I wonder if that's just a good time for me to write. I just love the mornings before the world has had its coffee. I'm excited to get back to writing in the morning. I have missed it since the wedding prep got so intense. For a while there I simply needed sleep and lack of stimulation just to balance out all the extroverted behavior. I just realized that I am a cusp-er in many things: astrology, Meyer's Briggs, Ayurveda. It's just that I like both sides. In the Fall I love to begin the process of hunkering down, getting quieter, preparing for the cold months and in the Summer I love to wake up early, wear bright clothes, eat lots of fruit. I like them equally. They each have benefits.

We're preparing to move this month, which is already upon us. We need to expand a little and embrace married life. Everyone asks do I feel different now that I am married. Yes. Most certainly. I feel more mature. I feel as though now not only will I be taken seriously, but I can take myself more seriously. Often, this is not something I need, because I take myself plenty seriously, but I mean it differently. I feel now that I have become more powerful, that I stand out more, that what I do matters more. For instance, I can look at clothes in my closet and say, "I can't wear that anymore. I don't FEEL married in it." I know it may sound strange, but I feel a much stronger sense of pride in my relationship, in myself and in my husband. We are a team and we can change the world. I've always wanted that. I've thought long and hard about what I gain from being married, and besides the obvious, I really feel it presents this change in power. Like our rings are inscribed: From their united being, a single brighter light goes forth. I *feel* that now. It's pretty sweet.
And because the light is SO bright now, we have to move out of our small, 1 bedroom apartment. We need just a bit more space. Plus, we need to create a more sacred intention about buying land and building our fab pre-fab. Our house is constantly messy now, no amount of storage units can hold what we need/want. I want to invite people over again, I want to have guests spend the night, I want to drag my compost outside, rather than to a friend's house. :S

So we're hunting for a place to move into before November 1st so we don't have to rush at the last minute. We both HATE to move. So that's a big deal and a big change, but a necessary one. Lots of things are in motion now.

I went to my first official day of work yesterday. I took notes about things I didn't understand, I said hello to my co-workers...it's all very exciting. Oddly enough, I have done probably more legal work than anything (SBUX) so although I would NEVER have thought I'd end up here, I guess it's not THAT weird considering how much I've enjoyed working with the legal stuff. It's interesting. Not that the boring stuff is interesting, but I guess I find the subject matter to be interesting and it feels good to to be proud of where I work.
I get an office and an extension and ergonomic furniture. Sweet! And I get paid!

But most of all, I have time to write and create, which is what I want. I want to be able to get into a routine so that I don't just fart away my morning before I head out to work. Technically, I work full time but I need to actually put in those hours in the morning with writing. Josh said he'll push me to write even though I also want to make some clothes. Just for side cash. Anyway, I should go and work on something now.