Process, process, process

Maybe it's the Vitamin D I am taking, or the jolts of inspiration that I get from friends, family, husband and podcasts, but I am feeling optimistic.
About what?
Well, I don't know, actually. Usually the limbo feeling makes me CRAZY and I don't like being there, but after some realization that my dreamed of "golden ticket" is really not the best way for me to pursue my dreams, ideas have been trickling in.
For instance: I like to write. I don't do it enough. I am bogged down by the idea that I either AM or AM NOT a writer. Forget the proof of my writing existing, I am worried about labels. And agents. And book deals. Stuff that I'm not even close to at the moment. I don't write because I haven't written. Yikes. But in the end, words still make it to paper, I still love it, and it's something that can make big money or little money and I know I can do it.
#2 I feel and usually am creative. I have good (read: artistic and inspired) ideas. They come to me like they come to other successful people: in the shower, on the toilet, in the morning, on the bus. I see them, I like them, other people like them. And then somewhere they get lost in the shuffle. But they still come. Since I can remember. They probably came before I can remember.
#3 I have resources. I read a lot. I know people. I am persuasive. I am passionate. I have a lot of energy. I connect with the Divine Universe. I'm smart. All these things are necessary in being successful, to me.
#4 No matter how many times my logical mind wants to shut down the operation of pursuing my dreams, the rest of me comes back, either with a sneak attack or an idea or whatever. I can't keep myself from dreaming and wanting to pursue the dreams.

This should all culminate in something big, yes? Of course. My life!
I want to own my own business. I have in the past (and technically, on paper, I still do) but I want to provide quality goods/services to others and add valuable experiences to their lives. Our wedding was a great example. I had fun planning and attending the wedding because not only was it MY wedding, but it was fun, creative, experiential, and all my favorite people were there. I want MORE of that. More intention, more depth, more fun, more enjoyment of life. It was only for 3 days, and we had TONS of help, but it was SO fulfilling. I really liked that part. I got to be creative, social, spiritual, and of course see and hang out with all my friends and family. I got to know people better and it was simply the best weekend ever.
It was a good microcosm of what's possible. We had HIGH hopes and they were met time and again. I am inspired to keep with that theme. Sure, we could've gotten a wedding planner to do it all, and then sat back and watched it unfold. But it would NOT have been as much fun. And we wouldn't have learned as much for sure.

I tend to get caught up in details: "I can't do that because I don't know X" or "To have a business in X, I have to have experience in X." Many excuses (on repeat) come to mind. But if I quiet that annoying voice of naysaying for a second, I hear the other voice of hope and possibility. "One step at a time" or "You don't have to do it all alone" or " That's a great idea!"
I like that voice much better.

I don't know what's next, quite honestly. I think maybe feeling more hopeful was next and then I could move forward. I want to simply start to let the good feelings flow more. Sure, owning a business is hard. It's even harder if I do it alone. It's harder still if I always think that it will stay hard. :)

There is no golden ticket. Just moving forward with ideas. I can be creative and write and stay at my job and pursue other business ideas. I can continue to do Reiki. It's not that hard. I can do as much or as little as I like. I want to do more than one thing, so that I am able to keep all my interests in my life.

Letting go of old habits, thought patterns, etc is a challenge, but it's worth it!