Challenge

I know that writing tends to disspate my energy, but I have mixed feelings about using it as a tool and also as a crutch.

The past couple of days (weeks?) I have been having this struggle inside. It involves some perfectionism, time management, and organization. All very close relatives of fear and paralyzation.

I see this image of myself...it's a self I don't always recognize, but one I am familiar with. I see myself happy, energetic, in the flow, and very clear. I see productivity and creativity and the tapping into the Ultimate Spirit very easily. I see abundance and right livelihood and inspiration. I see the smile on my face.

I see all of that and yet, it also looks far away...there's an invisible block...There's a switch to be tripped, a moment of time having to pass...and yet I have no idea when that kicks in. Is it in my own power (of course!)? Is it at the end of my fingertips (probably!)? Is that invisible block really just my fear of jumping off the cliff?

All the stuff...it seems like too much and yet, it's all a phantom, really, isn't it? There's nothing really there. I could walk right through. Why don't I?

I have been given many gifts recently. Steady work, financial stability in more ways than one, emotional support, etc. What else will it take? I guess the last thing is that I have to put one foot in front of the other...I have to walk the steps. No one else can. All the supposed blocks have diffused and now it's just a matter of moving forward. I have time, space, support, talent, inspiration...JUST MOVE AHEAD.