Energy and Inspiration
After a long day yesterday I felt really energized at the end of it. Amazing. When I don't have anything "weighing" me down (boring work, heavy food, financial stress, etc) I have a lot of energy! Yeah! I have another job today, and my muscles are a bit sore from dancing, but I am excited for more work. It's like the weekend is already here!
Let's look a little deeper into what's happening...
*cue sounds effects for opening a huge book*
I had some doubts about this part. I know that I can do stuff and I know that I am good at stuff as well, but I was at a loss (mentally/emotionally more than physically, I think) about how to really stand behind myself and thrust my best out into the world. I knew that "doing art" was not really about finishing projects and going to gallery openings. But what I am finding is that "art" isn't just in the materials and methods...it's a whole life thing. Sure, I paid lip service to that idea (fake it til ya make it) but to FEEL what it's like to do what I want, get rewarded (which is always multi-layered), and see how my energy shifts with one slight movement...it's truly amazing. Being in love with myself has always been this obscure self-help concept that I liked but didn't feel. And now I am glimpsing the parts of myself out in the world (not shut away in my apt) that I really like and it feels great. I don't feel an impending struggle. I don't feel the lack of self-confidence or even self-consciousness...I feel all possibilities just at the ends of my skin. I can see my future accomplishments and they aren't clouded with "can'ts" and excuses...ROCK ON.
I've always had this obnoxious, bullying voice inside me listing reasons why I can't or shouldn't. And that voice doesn't fit in my life at the moment. I'm sure it will come back for closer examination, but I like not having time to entertain its nagging irrationalities. I think of all the things that I have put off or written off and I don't feel the doom of them anymore. It's a relief, for sure.
I bought a book that gives tips on how to scrapbook. Now, I am not a scrapbooker in the traditional sense, but I wanted some inspiration so I could dive into memories (positive and negative) and really examine/observe them and even get some closure. It's nice to be making clothes and coming up with ideas, but I also want to honor the part of me that has worked hard to get here. The still small voice within has been persistent (thank goodness) and patient and right on. And here I am, doing what I want and getting paid. There's room in the world for me too!
I'm also considering hosting a group (I'm thinking women only at this point, but that can be amended..) that artistically dives into stuff: learning/refining crafts, making sacred alters, meaningful scrapbook/memory pages, having speakers to talk about art and process, writing exercises (duh!) etc. I've been in support groups and they have a special purpose, and I am interested in actually working with my hands and providing supportive space for others to do so as well. I'll let it stew a bit more...any suggestions are welcome of course. I have a few resources that I will look at and get back to you...:)
I got high compliments on my pants and skirts yesterday from a few friends. It's great to get praise, especially when I am also proud of the work. It inspired me to consider making more and offering my friends the simple service of changing what might be boring clothes to clothing that is interesting and cool, without having to become a slave to fashion. Simple embellishments are all you need. Jeans and cords can have a new life! Shirts can become unique with a few stitches. One of a kind clothes, in YOUR size, that express that inner fashion model... Are you willing?
I hope to do the summer market thing, maybe with a few friends who want to show off their stuff, and just have fun redesigning clothes so they are affordable, practical, made for durability, and appropriate for Seattle weather (I can't wear a purple camisole with jeans in the middle of winter, folks!).
As I start to earn more money, I'll start buying some used clothes to keep trying cool things on and I'll share them as soon I do it.
I also hope to start my t-shirt/life history quilt soon...I might have to get more room to lay it all out but I am excited to make a quilt...I've always wanted to do it.
Well, I'll leave you with this:
"There is no need to run outside for better seeing,...Rather abide at the center of your being;...Search your heart and see..."
-Lao-tzu
Let's look a little deeper into what's happening...
*cue sounds effects for opening a huge book*
I had some doubts about this part. I know that I can do stuff and I know that I am good at stuff as well, but I was at a loss (mentally/emotionally more than physically, I think) about how to really stand behind myself and thrust my best out into the world. I knew that "doing art" was not really about finishing projects and going to gallery openings. But what I am finding is that "art" isn't just in the materials and methods...it's a whole life thing. Sure, I paid lip service to that idea (fake it til ya make it) but to FEEL what it's like to do what I want, get rewarded (which is always multi-layered), and see how my energy shifts with one slight movement...it's truly amazing. Being in love with myself has always been this obscure self-help concept that I liked but didn't feel. And now I am glimpsing the parts of myself out in the world (not shut away in my apt) that I really like and it feels great. I don't feel an impending struggle. I don't feel the lack of self-confidence or even self-consciousness...I feel all possibilities just at the ends of my skin. I can see my future accomplishments and they aren't clouded with "can'ts" and excuses...ROCK ON.
I've always had this obnoxious, bullying voice inside me listing reasons why I can't or shouldn't. And that voice doesn't fit in my life at the moment. I'm sure it will come back for closer examination, but I like not having time to entertain its nagging irrationalities. I think of all the things that I have put off or written off and I don't feel the doom of them anymore. It's a relief, for sure.
I bought a book that gives tips on how to scrapbook. Now, I am not a scrapbooker in the traditional sense, but I wanted some inspiration so I could dive into memories (positive and negative) and really examine/observe them and even get some closure. It's nice to be making clothes and coming up with ideas, but I also want to honor the part of me that has worked hard to get here. The still small voice within has been persistent (thank goodness) and patient and right on. And here I am, doing what I want and getting paid. There's room in the world for me too!
I'm also considering hosting a group (I'm thinking women only at this point, but that can be amended..) that artistically dives into stuff: learning/refining crafts, making sacred alters, meaningful scrapbook/memory pages, having speakers to talk about art and process, writing exercises (duh!) etc. I've been in support groups and they have a special purpose, and I am interested in actually working with my hands and providing supportive space for others to do so as well. I'll let it stew a bit more...any suggestions are welcome of course. I have a few resources that I will look at and get back to you...:)
I got high compliments on my pants and skirts yesterday from a few friends. It's great to get praise, especially when I am also proud of the work. It inspired me to consider making more and offering my friends the simple service of changing what might be boring clothes to clothing that is interesting and cool, without having to become a slave to fashion. Simple embellishments are all you need. Jeans and cords can have a new life! Shirts can become unique with a few stitches. One of a kind clothes, in YOUR size, that express that inner fashion model... Are you willing?
I hope to do the summer market thing, maybe with a few friends who want to show off their stuff, and just have fun redesigning clothes so they are affordable, practical, made for durability, and appropriate for Seattle weather (I can't wear a purple camisole with jeans in the middle of winter, folks!).
As I start to earn more money, I'll start buying some used clothes to keep trying cool things on and I'll share them as soon I do it.
I also hope to start my t-shirt/life history quilt soon...I might have to get more room to lay it all out but I am excited to make a quilt...I've always wanted to do it.
Well, I'll leave you with this:
"There is no need to run outside for better seeing,...Rather abide at the center of your being;...Search your heart and see..."
-Lao-tzu
posted by Becca Campbell @ 9:18 AM
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